Mommie Dearest

by Frank Coelho on May 13, 2012

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I didn’t wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day today, because I did so last week. For reasons I’ve never understood (please elucidate me, if you know) Mother’s Day in Europe (where she lives) is always celebrated a week before it is in the U.S. I’ve written about my mom before, so this post isn’t going to be about her. One public, mom-related piece is quite enough, thank you very much.

Rather, I’ve decided to make this Mother’s Day post about our collective mother – the one who gave birth to us all, my brethren. I’m referring to Mother Earth, obviously. Earth Day just took place on April 22, so today represents an excellent follow-up opportunity to give her some well-deserved props.

I’ll try to make this short and sweet. On this day, I’d like everyone reading this to remember how precious our maternal host really is and to pledge to do the utmost for her, as we reap the rewards of her bountiful love and affection. Remember, Mrs. G. has always provided everything we’ve ever needed for a happy life. But be forewarned, if we act like ungrateful sons and daughters (as we have much too often since the industrial revolution), she will become a terrifying matriarch capable of punishing us big time by wreaking havoc of biblical proportions on top of our noggins.

Extreme weather events are not a fantasy. The jury is no longer out. The science is conclusive . This mom will turn our lives into sheer misery if we keep fucking with her.

So to all our cherished siblings out there, we say…be good to our mom.

She’s the only one we’ll ever have.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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